[thenightwriterblog] The Night Writer: The Night Hens are at it again.

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Posted by The Night Writer:
The Night Hens are at it again.
http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1196470755.shtml


   The Reverend Mother (RM), Mall Diva (MD) and Tiger Lilly (TL) are
   live-blogging another out-for-coffee expedition.
   In the car:
   MD: You're cute, Patience.
   TL: Thanks, you're cute, too.
   RM gazes at her daughter in the rear view mirror (menacingly,
   according to TL)
   TL: Oh, okay, mom, you're cute, too.
   RM: Thanks.
   At Panera in Eagan:
   MD: Is it yummy?
   RM nods.
   RM: What's in that bag?
   MD: That pineapple thing.
   MD: I love lemon poppyseed bundt cake. I hope I don't have a drug test
   this afternoon.
   RM: The bump, I mean bundt, cake isn't as good as the pumpkin muffie.
   RM: That guy behind you is on his laptop while his wife knits.
   MD: Yep, that'll be me and my husband someday.
   RM: He'll be knitting?
   MD: Totally! I can't knit.
   TL: Argh! I'm having thumb cramps again! I almost killed a man with
   this thumb!
   RM: You have crumbs all over you. You're crummy!
   TL: Thanks, mom.
   RM: I woke up in a bad mood this morning...
   TL: You woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
   RM: No, I woke up on the right side of the bed.
   MD: Nuh-uh! You woke up on the left side of the bed!
   TL: So what happened when you got up on the wrong side of the bed?
   RM: That's what I need you guys to help me remember. What do you think
   I had you for?
   TL: I don't know! I was under the impression that you didn't want us!
   ...So, are you out of your bad mood yet?
   RM: He** no, leave me alone!
   MD & TL: *Gaaaasp!!!!*
   MD: I need another cup of coffee.
   RM: I need another pair of blue jeans.
   TL: I need a video camera.
   RM: I don't think a video camera is a need.
   TL: Yeah it is!
   RM: It's a luxury.
   MD: My need is the most easily fulfilled.
   RM: Coffee?
   MD nods
   TL: Not after I break your cup.
   MD: That would be stupid.
   TL: I think a scar in the eyebrow is the most dashing kind of scar.
   RM: Where did that word "dashing" come from? It must be 'cuz they dash
   about town.
   The conversation deteriorates to ladies' men and hunter-gatherers and
   how they differ...
   MD goes to get more coffee. When she comes back RM and TL are giggling
   uncontrollably.
   MD: What are you laughing at? I don't trust you.
   RM reading what had been written.
   RM: This is so dumb!
   RM: You know, I don't feel like Christmas shopping this year, you
   guys.
   MD: So? It doesn't matter how you feel!
   TL: Coal for you, Faith!
   RM: Yeah...that coal is starting to look better and better!
   MD: Noooo!
   TL: Well, you get enough of it and you can make diamonds! Take a
   10,000 lb weight and crush the coal with it!
   RM: No, I don't think that's how diamonds are made. I think they just
   made that up because of a lack of information. I believe that God made
   all the diamonds and put them where they are.
   TL: In rings?
   RM: No!! In the ground!
   RM is looking at a hair that was stuck to TL.
   RM: Where did this come from? Its not one of yours! It's black!
   TL: Don't you remember when MD dyed my hair black?
   RM: Well, when was that? It has to have been 2 years, it's all grown
   out.
   MD: Yup, it was when I was in beauty school. '05. Two years.
   TL: Wow. Faith is gettin' old.
   RM: Yeah! She's going to be 20!
   TL looks horrified.
   TL: She's going to have wrinkles!
   TL: So how's that bad mood coming along?
   RM: What?
   TL: That bad mood.
   RM gazes into the middle distance.
   MD: I wanted to tell you something. This won't be interesting to
   people.
   [.....
   .....
   .....]
   RM laughs
   [Crashing sound in the kitchen.]
   TL: That wasn't very much of a crash. That was more of a clang.
   MD: A crash is more like something broke.
   TL: Like if I dropped your cup. I have this vendetta aginst your
   coffee cup, I don't know why.
   MD: Maybe my cup has a vendetta against you. You better watch your
   butt, man.
   TL: Dude! There is no way a guy can watch his own butt.
   (What movie is that from?)
   RM: So, what do you want for Christmas?
   MD: Shoes! And purses! And diamonds are a girl's best friend!!!
   RM: Tell me things that are less than 30 dollars.
   Silence ensues.
   END