[thenightwriterblog] The Night Writer: Happy birthday, P.J.

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Posted by The Night Writer:
Happy birthday, P.J. 
http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1195081404.shtml


   Today's the birthday of one of my favorite writers, [1]P.J. O'Rourke
   (1947). I've been reading him ever since I graduated from Mad Magazine
   to The National Lampoon, and followed his work in books with hard
   covers such as Republican Party Reptile, All the Trouble in the World:
   The Lighter Side of Famine, Pestilence, Destruction and Death, and Eat
   the Rich. He's the kind of writer I'd like to be when I grow up, even
   though there's little evidence that he's done so.
   Whenever I've found a particularly funny or trenchant sentence or two
   I've thrown it into a file for future reference. In honor of P.J.'s
   birthday, here are a few of them:
     * When a thing defies physical law, thereâs usually politics
       involved.
     * Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the
       dishes.
     * The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it
       is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting âSieg
       Healthâ and seeking to trammel freedom, liberty, and large noisy
       parties. The Safety Nazis advocate gun control, vigorous exercise,
       and health foods. The result can only be a disarmed, exhausted,
       and half-starved population ready to acquiesce to dictatorship of
       some kind.
     * Sloths move at the speed of congressional debate but with greater
       deliberation and less noise.
     * If you think healthcare is expensive now, just wait until itâs
       free.
     * Bureaucrats want bigger bureaus. Special interests are interested
       in whateverâs special to them. These two groups bring great
       pressure to bear upon politicians who have another agenda yet: to
       cater to the temporary whims and fads of the public and the press.
     * Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But
       left-wingers do.
     * A little Government and a little luck are necessary in life; but
       only a fool trusts either of them.
     * Something is happening to America, not something dangerous but
       something all too safe. I see it in my lifelong friends. I am a
       child of the "baby boom", a generation not known for its sane or
       cautious approach to things. Yet suddenly my peers are giving up
       drinking, giving up smoking, cutting down on coffee, sugar, and
       salt. They will not eat red meat and go now to restaurants whose
       menus have caused me to stand on a chair yelling, "Flopsy, Mopsy,
       Cottontail, dinner is served!" This from the generation of LSD,
       Weather Underground, and Altamont Rock Festival! And all in the
       name of safety! Our nation has withstood many divisions - North
       and South, black and white, labor and management - but I do not
       know if the country can survive division into smoking and
       non-smoking sections.
     * Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.
     * To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where
       everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.
     * The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work
       and then gets elected and proves it.
     * Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without
       possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to
       surrender part of their liberty - their power and privilege - to
       State, Masses, Mankind, Planet Earth, or whatever. This state,
       those masses, that mankind, and the planet will then be run by ...
       politicians.
     * People with a mission to save the earth want the earth to seem
       worse than it is so their mission will look more important.
     * When a private entity does not produce the desired results, it is
       (certain body parts excepted) done away with. But a public entity
       gets bigger.

References

   1. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/103-6754565-9447804?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=P.J.+O%27Rourke&x=15&y=17