[thenightwriterblog] The Night Writer: Who's "hard on herrings"?

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Posted by The Night Writer:
Who's "hard on herrings"?
http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1182310858.shtml


     Aging black leather and hospital bills,
     Tattoo removal and dozens of pills.
     Your liver pays dearly now for youthful magic moments,
     But rock on completely with some brand new components.
     -- "Rock and Roll Lifestyle," by Cake

   My generation is not going to grow old gracefully, but we will do it
   stylishly.
   Nancy at [1]Away With Words called my attention to a new,
   nearly-invisible, "personal communications assistant" from Phonak
   called [2]Audéo; described as "a breakthrough for living life to the
   fullest, bringing back the speech understanding we can start to lose
   as early as in our twenties. Sleek, stylish and discreet, it's the
   ultimate high-tech accessory."
   That's their description, anyway; you might simply call it a hearing
   aid.
   Audéo is backed by an eye-catching (and ear-supporting) print ad
   campaign featuring aging-but-still-edgy wearers who, you presume,
   would rather be run down from behind by a freight train than wear
   their father's hearing aid -- or even ask for one. While Audéos are
   nearly invisible, those parts that do show come in such cool color
   combos as Solar Flare and Raku Glaze, to name but a few. The Audéo
   concept and ad campaign are solid and a solid and creative way to
   market a sensitive product to an audience not quite ready to admit
   that they need it, similar to the way [3]Haggar now promotes it's
   slacks and in keeping with ED ads all featuring virile, hunky-looking
   guys with just a touch of gray.
   Naturally, Audéos aren't needed because you're getting older; oh no,
   it's simply the result of your full, active lifestyle. Personally, my
   full, active college lifestyle once included going to a number of rock
   concerts where my connections got me front and center tickets right in
   the cone of the speakers. A typical conversation in those days might
   go like this:

     "Man, I saw The Tubes three days ago and they were great! My ears
     are still ringing!"
     "Dude, that's so cool!"

   In fact, my ears are still ringing. For the last couple of years the
   soundtrack of my full, active lifestyle has been a steady keening
   sound. Nevertheless, as I type this now I can clearly hear the
   dehumidifier running, the hum of the computer and the distant chirping
   of our parakeets. If someone were to say something to me, however, my
   first response would probably be, "What?"
   Like most things having to do with getting older I've simply gotten
   accustomed to this gradually. To lift another song lyric, "A man hears
   what he wants to hear and disregards the rest." For the most part I
   can hear what (I think) I need to hear but there are times when I
   struggle to follow the conversation at Keegan's with all the
   background noise and I know my daughters hear things in songs that I
   never catch.
   So of course I entered my zipcode on the website to learn where I can
   find an Audéo specialist near me for trying out my own personal
   communications assistant while I look forward to more cool products
   coming my way, like an Xtreme Walker complete with an iPod port or
   thong-style Depends. Forget the reading glasses, I want some "personal
   visual enhancers" and my favorite sport drink, now in prune juice
   flavor!
   I heard that, Mall Diva.

References

   1. http://nancyfriedman.typepad.com/away_with_words/2007/06/sonic_boomers.html
   2. http://www.us.audeoworld.com/ccus/index.htm
   3. http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1162841127.shtml