[thenightwriterblog] Mall Diva: The Rediculous Meanderings of Two Chicks in a Bistro

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Posted by Mall Diva:
The Rediculous Meanderings of Two Chicks in a Bistro
http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1184378084.shtml


   Co-blogging: Reverend Mother and Mall Diva
   Setting: Panera Bread in MPLS
   MD: Mmmm! These are like muffin cookies!
   RM: Yeah, but not like meat cookies.
   MD: The lightbulb goes on...That must be why they're called "Muffies"!
   RM: So what are we going to talk about? Steals some of MD's Carrot
   Walnut Mini Bundt cake.
   MD: Hey! Mine!
   RM: Why are you eating all this? Aren't you looking too good in your
   fat jeans? Are you writing this down?
   MD: I don't need to worry about that if you're eating all my food.
   RM: You could do what that guy is doing- Stand on the corner and jog
   in place.
   MD: I'm wearing the wrong shoes. Takes a bite of RM's Pumpkin
   Muffie...
   RM: Hey!
   MD: You offered it to me.
   RM: Oooh there's a cool looking dude.
   MD gags: He's wearing a tye-dye shirt that doesn't even meet his
   pants!
   RM pokes MD and points out the window at a VW Bug
   MD: Ooh! It's a convertible! Look at the guy driving-
   RM: Yeah, in his white shirt and black tie. I bet if you went out
   there and batted your eyelashes at him, he'd give you a ride.
   MD: Most guys that drive Bugs are gay. If I went out there and batted
   my eyelashes at him, he'd probably throw up.
   RM: Not all guys are. I think your father should get one and throw off
   the whole paradigm. Pokes MD again.
   MD: Can you imagine dad driving a Bug?
   RM thinks for a second and bursts out laughing: No!
   MD: This cake is so good.
   RM: It's somewhat good.
   MD: Better than yours.
   RM: Not than the Pumpkin Muffie.
   MD: Well I like it better.
   RM: I'm thinking about trying oatmeal.
   MD: Trying oatmeal? Haven't you had oatmeal before?
   RM: Not since I was under 5. Oh, I remember one time I was at an
   aunt's house and she served it for breakfast, and I ate it until
   someone mentioned that I didn't like it.
   MD: So it sounds like you stopped eating it because someone said you
   didn't like it. The power of suggestion.
   RM: No, when my Aunt found out I didn't like it, she said I could have
   something else. I don't remember what I had, though. Maybe Bourbon.
   MD: What, vermin?
   RM: No! Bourbon.
   MD: Oh. For breakfast?
   RM: I haven't had oatmeal since I was very young and I've never had
   Bourbon.
   MD: Well it's not too late to start.
   RM laughs.
   RM: Look! A truck full of motorcycles!
   MD: Cool! Snugglebug! There's a guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt. I wonder
   if he's going to the MOB party tomorrow?
   RM: He probably won't be wearing it until then. Pokes MD. Look!
   There's Surdyk's cheese shop! We could go get some double Gloucester!
   MD: Or some liquor.
   RM: Is that a guy? He's wearing a dress! He's doing his Jesus
   imitation. He needs an intervention.
   MD: He's drinking out of a mason jar.
   MD: I think its Health Inspector day. You know, we're way funnier when
   Tiger Lilly isn't around.
   RM nods.
   RM: I want a motorcycle. That girl has one. Let's go test drive some
   motorcycles today.
   MD: Ok. Can you test drive a motorcycle if you don't have a motorcycle
   license?
   RM: No you can't! You'll have to ride behind me. Dad bought a flat
   screen TV. I should be able to buy a motorcycle.
   MD: Do you know how hard it is to type "motorcycle" over and over?
   RM: You need to cut and paste.
   End.