[thenightwriterblog] The Minfidel: The Nominees are...

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Posted by The Minfidel:
The Nominees are...
http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1169579604.shtml


   The Academy Award nominations were released this morning.
   Coincidentally, the President's State of the Union Address is tonight.
   Both will garner a lot of attention today and in the days ahead. While
   I haven't seen the list of Oscar nominees yet, and obviously I don't
   know how the speech will go tonight, but I think both events are
   pretty predictable.
   For the record, let me just say that I think it is important for us as
   a society to honor and recognize those who work so hard to play their
   parts, even if they are directed by others and their words written by
   someone else and they make tons of money with very little heavy
   lifting. Here, then, are my predictions for the nominees for tonight's
   performances:
   Best Picture: This award recognizes the person who's picture, taken
   during the speech, gets the most play in tomorrow's newspapers and
   blogs. The favorites in this category have to be President Bush, Vice
   President Cheney and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (did you know
   she was a woman?), simply because they get the most screen time. The
   edge here probably goes to Pelosi, who has better hair, though other
   "best picture" contenders could be of Hillary scowling or Ted Kennedy
   passing out face first onto his desk, but since these are familiar
   images they might not be as "newsworthy". I think the winner might be
   a surprise candidate, such as Sen. Dennis Kucinich reading a MAD
   magazine, or Representative Keith Ellison reading the Koran.
   Best Actor/Actress: Isn't it archaic in this day and age to have
   separate actor categories for men and women? If you ask me this smacks
   of quotas and set asides. Why not simply recognize the best
   performance, based on who's the most convincing? Expected nominees
   include President Bush, who will try to convince us he has a plan;
   Speaker Pelosi, who will try to smile and applaud as the President
   enters; Minority Leader John Boehner, who will try to act as if he's
   relevant; and Representative Jack Murtha, who will act as if he's
   actually heard what was just said. A lot of people favor Barack Obama
   for this award for his overall performance in appearing to have
   substance, but I think that tonight he'll be playing it safe and just
   trying not to screw it up.
   Best Supporting Actor/Actress: This award goes to person who does the
   best job of making the President look good, even if only by
   comparison. This is always a heated competition, especially in the
   lightweight division, where Kucinich and Senator Barbara Boxer have
   been the front-runners. I've heard, however, that the Republicans are
   working with Fox News on some excuse to get Howard Dean into the
   Chamber for the evening. My money, however, is on Senator John Kerry
   who continues to do good work but will also garner some "lifetime
   achievement" support for his efforts in 2004.
   Best Non-Supporting Actor/Actress: This is an unusual category but one
   that's hard to ignore and that has a strong field of candidates.
   Nominees worth watching include the perennial John McCain, but you
   take your eyes off of Senators John Warner, Olympia Snowe and Chuck
   Hagl at your own risk. I think this will go, however, to surprise
   dark-horse nominee, Senator Norm Coleman.
   Best Original Song, Best Original Screenplay: No nominees. Haven't we
   heard it all before?
   That's all I have time for because I need to go out and buy snacks and
   beverages for tonight's show now so that I don't have to worry about
   being late getting to my recliner in front of the TV. I'll leave it to
   others to submit your nominations for categories such as "Best
   Director", "Best Animation" or "Special Effects."