[thenightwriterblog] The Night Writer: I am surrounded

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Posted by The Night Writer:
I am surrounded
http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1171901763.shtml


   The HDTV guy finally showed up Friday afternoon to hook up the new
   dish and bring me into the 21st century. I've just spent my first
   weekend with 1080 resolution (whatever that is) and a surround-sound
   home theater. So, what did I watch?
   Golf, mostly. The Nissan Open from Los Angeles was broadcast in HD by
   CBS, and the experience was amazing and especially heightened my
   enjoyment of watching Phil Mickelson kack up another tournament. (I
   don't know what it is specifically about Mickelson -- the smirk, the
   false sincerity, the ugly logos -- but I just can't stand the guy. No
   doubt his epic and predictable brain-farts are quite painful to him
   and I know I shouldn't take such satisfaction in his travails, but I
   can't help it; he's the Joe Biden of the PGA.)
   Anyway, the super-sharp picture resolution showed every dimple on the
   ball and every blade of grass around the hole as "Lefty" lipped out
   yet another short putt, or let me clearly see the bull logo printed on
   Sergio Garcia's golf ball (and what is with the horrible commercials
   trying to establish this mis-shaven Spaniard into a trashy sex symbol?
   The commercials use double-entendres so heavy-handed pro wrestling
   wouldn't even touch them). There's more to high-def than just the
   picture, though. Additional sounds are picked up and transmitted from
   the extra microphones around the course and in the crowd, leading to
   some pretty interesting effects, especially if you've got a home
   theatre set-up. The sound of a driver crushing a ball is explosive and
   seems to come from behind you. The applause and cheers of the crowd
   sound as if you're standing right in the middle of the gallery.
   This isn't always such a good thing. On one long putt the golfer had
   no sooner started the putt on its way when some jack-ass, apparently
   standing right next to a microphone, shouted "IN THE HOLE!" from
   immediatley behind my left shoulder. I jumped and reflexively lashed
   out in that direction with a back-handed karate chop, saying "IN THE
   ADAM'S APPLE!" I wish the clown had actually been standing there. I
   don't understand the appeal of this "cheer" except to get yourself
   "on" TV. Do the jokers who do this stupid thing go to work the next
   day and brag, saying "Did you hear me on number 14? I shouted 'YOU DA
   MAN!' or "IN THE HOLE!" when Tiger marked his ball." No one's ever
   said that to me at work, and if they did I'd probably say, "Oh, that
   was you? IN THE ADAM'S APPLE!"
   All in all, though, I'm really liking this new technology even if it
   was kind of expensive, and even though I am discovering some hidden
   costs. One of the things I watched on the new system yesterday was one
   of the "Band of Brothers" DVDs. It was the episode where the men are
   freezing in foxholes around Bastogne. There was a quiet scene where a
   couple of guys were hunkered down, softly reminiscing about home or
   some such. I even turned the sound up to follow the conversation, when
   all of a sudden an artillery shell exploded right behind them (and
   me).
   Now I've got to buy a new couch.