[thenightwriterblog] The Night Writer: May *auld acquaintance* ... and where you parked your car ... be forgot

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Posted by The Night Writer:
May *auld acquaintance* ... and where you parked your car ... be forgot
http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1198950462.shtml


   Columnist and commentator (or "columntator" as he refers to himself)
   Simon Webster in the [1]Sydney Morning Herald has some useful
   observations for those preparing to usher out the old year (and
   several thousand brain cells) in alcoholic revelry:

     DOCTORS have warned people to monitor their drinking this New
     Year's Eve. Failing to imbibe sufficiently may lead to long-term
     psychological trauma from spending long periods attempting to
     communicate with drunken dribblers.
     Sober partygoers also face the risk of serious rib and lung damage.
     Research shows that just as drunks are more likely to survive falls
     from great heights because they are so relaxed, they are also more
     likely to escape unscathed after being hugged by sobbing overweight
     buffoons wearing paper hats.
     Drunks, however, are more likely to fall from great heights in the
     first place, which may have skewed test results. Scientists have
     called for double-blind studies to be undertaken, as opposed to
     just blind-drunk ones.

   Webster goes on to describe some of the Scottish heritage behind the
   annual celebration:

     Auld Lang Syne is, of course, a Scottish song, written by
     18th-century poet Robert Burns. Roughly translated it means "Old
     Long Sign" and is about a raucous New Year's Eve that Burns spent
     in the Welsh village of Llanfair pwllgwyngy llgogerych-
     wyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
     So seriously do the Scots take New Year's Eve that they have
     January 2 as a public holiday. They give their marathon
     celebrations a special Scottish name, Hogmanay, which is Glaswegian
     for hiccup.
     But the Scottish capital Edinburgh is reeling from a lack of
     bookings this year, London's Guardian newspaper reports. For once
     the city's hotels are not booked out.
     Hogmanay organisers say the lack of interest is due to gales that
     forced the last-minute cancellation of the city's street party
     twice in the past four years. When you've got a street full of men
     in kilts, the last thing you want is strong winds.

   Mr. Webster also happens to share my affinity for commenting on
   television commercials, and later in the same article brings us this
   report:

     A CHICKEN fast-food outlet's ad featuring a pole-dancing mum has
     become the most complained-about ad in Australian TV history.
     It broke the previous record-holder, an ad for mints in which a
     bare-chested man had long, erect nipples. The record-holder before
     that had been a beer ad depicting a tongue that left its owner's
     body in search of a stubbie. The combined effect of consuming
     chicken burgers, mints and beer can be seen on certain special
     interest pay-per-view channels.
     The pole-dancing commercial attracted 300 complaints about the
     level of nudity and the depiction of mums as erotic dancers, The
     Sydney Morning Herald reported last week.
     The Advertising Standards Bureau dismissed the complaints, saying
     pole dancing had become a mainstream activity.
     The board was split on the issue of nudity and had to watch the ad
     over and over again to make up its mind.
     Perhaps we're missing the main injustice here. Three hundred
     complaints is a lot but there would have been plenty more if
     chickens could write.

   With news like that, this year can't end soon enough.

References

   1. http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/best-just-to-drink-it-all-in/2007/12/29/1198778760500.html