[thenightwriterblog] The NightHens: Guess Who's Coming to Coffee?

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Posted by The NightHens:
Guess Who's Coming to Coffee?
http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1197046209.shtml


   The NightHens are at home, but preparing to go to coffee with RM's
   sister and her daughter, Miss Inver Grove Heights.
   RM: We'll call them Her Majesty The Queen and what'll we call Sandi?
   Sandi: I'm the Queen Mother.
   RM: You can't be. That sounds like you were once the queen.
   Sandi: Well I'm the queen's mother. I can be the queen mother.
   RM: Hey we're all about accuracy here.
   NW: Yeah, that's why we use aliases.
   The NightHens are out for coffee at the Boiler Room in the Union Depot
   downtown St. Paul. Joining us are The Queen (TQ ) and the queen's
   mother (QM).
   [1]The Night Hens, the Queen Mother, and the Queen 
   QM: That's not a cookie, that's a plate.
   MD: It's as big as my face, I'm going to eat it. I had three cookies
   for dinner last night. Mom, is your necklace on backwards?
   RM checks her necklace and switches it around.
   MD: That is so gauche.
   RM: Are you on a diet Lindsay?
   TQ: No, I just don't care for coffee cake.
   TL: You're weird.
   TQ: I can't believe I was born into this family.
   MD: Yeah, how did that happen? Well, . . . . Sandi and Ken loved each
   other very much . . . .
   RM: That's enough.
   A bunch of off the record conversation.
   By the way Nicole is our barista today and is listening in to our
   conversation.
   [2]Nicole, our Barista 
   RM: You have way more coffee cake there than you need.
   MD: Nuh-uh, I only have half.
   RM: Who ate the other half?
   MD:uhhm.. what shall we talk about?
   TQ: Let's talk about how I turned 20 years old!
   TL: You're old. Embrace old age!
   TQ: I need a hip replacement.
   QM: You're 20 and you need a hip replacement?
   TQ: Yeah, I'll be racing the old ladies at the nursing home with my
   walker!
   TQ: Did you write about how I need a hip replacement?
   MD nods.
   TQ: Well, let me read it!
   MD: Oh, you'll be able to read it, and so will everyone else!
   TQ: Oh great! I am never coming here again!
   RM: It's not the place, its the company.
   TL: It tastes shiny.
   QM: It tastes shiny. What tastes shiny?
   TL holds up the camera.
   QM: You licked it.
   MD: Well, no one's taking pictures with it.
   QM: You don't know where that's been.
   MD: Nicole, will you take our picture?
   Nicole: For sure.
   TL: And then can we take yours as our barista?
   QM: Yeah, do you want to be famous?
   Nicole: It's bound to happen sooner or later.
   QM: Oooooh, good answer.
   MD: You're just working here till they discover you, anyways.
   RM: The queen can sit here.
   TQ: Yeah, if I can squeeze my big queen butt in there.
   RM is typing and TL keeps giving her "advice".
   MD (to TL) : Maybe you should go take a turn about the room, you're
   annoying your mother.
   TL stares evil at MD. MD seems unphased.
   RM: She (TL) just likes to make up new words.
   TL: Oh yeah, like rebellity and literalistic.
   MD: And perspicacity. What does perspicacity mean? It sounds like
   perspiration.
   RM: It means keen insight.
   MD: Oh yeah, Dan Stover is just the picture of perspicacity.
   RM: Don't be mean.
   MD: I'm not!
   QM: Faith is showing her rebellity.
   TL: Look mom, a napkin in a bottle.
   RM: You should have written a note on it.
   TL: Okay!
   QM: What does it say? 'Help! A mad scientist is trying to turn me into
   a little person'? And then the writing gets smaller and smaller.
   TL: Okay.
   A man walks up and asks if anyone has change.
   RM: (about MD) She has change.
   MD gets out her wad and makes change for the guy.
   MD: I am everyone's personal bank today. Just call me ATM!
   Nicole: But you're better because your friendly and you don't charge a
   two dollar fee.
   MD: And I'm cuter too.
   TL: Okay, can I have 20 bucks?
   MD: No, you can't withdraw, you can only exchange. And you can deposit
   if you want to.
   RM: Our meter is out. Let's get out of here.

References

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