[thenightwriterblog] The Night Writer: Report from the front lines at the Millard Fillmore Open Championship

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Posted by The Night Writer:
Report from the front lines at the Millard Fillmore Open Championship
http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1152409825.shtml


   Given the stereotype of bloggers as basement-dwelling cave fish, you
   might be surprised to learn that a goodly number of us emerged,
   blinking, into the light for an afternoon of golf Friday at Valleywood
   Golf Course in Apple Valley. The event was the second annual Millard
   Fillmore Open Championship (which goes by an abbreviation that I won't
   use here to avoid attracting the porn-crazed), hosted by [1]Learned
   Foot.
   When you realize that golf is nearly "blog" spelled backwards,
   however, our interest in the grand sport is more logical. Actually,
   perhaps "golb" is a better description of the game my threesome
   played. There are good reasons, for example, why I am known to the
   golfing Jedi as "O.B. Juan". My teammates, [2]Triple-A and [3]Surly
   Dave, meanwhile, can be compared to Jack Nicklaus (as in Bobby Jones
   saying of Nicklaus, "He plays a game with which I am not familiar.")
   Triple-A's readers won't be surprised to learn that his tee-shots veer
   strongly to the right. Dave's political leanings are harder to discern
   from his golf game since he seemed to favor left and right equally.
   His performance around water hazards, however, could be described as
   "Kennedy-esque", so we may have to keep an eye on him.
   Despite our adventures, we found ourselves on most holes waiting for
   the walking two-some in front of us to move out of range (vertically
   and laterally). Nevertheless, somebody two or three groups behind us
   called the clubhouse to complain about slow play and the ranger paid
   us a visit. The ranger thought it was somebody two groups behind us
   who had complained, which would mean it was Foot's group, and it was
   Foot, therefore, that Triple-A assigned the blame. Up to that point
   Triple-A had been content to write the initials of the golf tournament
   into every sandtrap he encountered; now angered, at the next tee-box
   he used the seed/fertilizer mixture provided for filling divots to
   pour out a rude message for LF. And it was perfectly spelled.
   I didn't see enough of anyone else's game to offer a comment, but I
   will note that [4]Nihilist-in-[DEL: Golf :DEL] -Short-Pants showed up
   at the course wearing the same outfit as I: navy blue shorts and a
   white golf shirt. It was hard to tell us apart at a glance; the
   telling clue was that he was the one wearing dark socks. Meanwhile
   [5]Bogus Doug, looking for a hobby to replace blogging, showed up
   looking like a contender for "Whitest Person in America", but as he
   forgot his sunblock, was well out of the running by the 18th hole.
   Afterwards we caravaned over to Foot's house for German and Italian
   sausages and fireworks. Like Foot's blog, the evening was explosive,
   highlighted by shrieking outbursts, fiery retorts (and reports),
   dramatic fizzles and nervous neighbors. Oh, and of course, there were
   the fireworks, too.
   I can't wait for next year!

References

   1. http://koolaidreport.blogspot.com/2006/07/tradition-unlike-any-other.html
   2. http://www.residualforces.com/http:/residualforces.com/index.php/2006/07/08/noteable-quoteable-from-the-kar-golf-thingy/
   3. http://ssb.powerblogs.com/posts/1152387388.shtml
   4. http://nihlist.blogspot.com/2006/07/top-11-reasons-ken-lay-died.html
   5. http://bogusgold.com/