[Dean's World] Dean: The "Nature vs. Nurture" Debate

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Posted by Dean:
The "Nature vs. Nurture" Debate
http://www.deanesmay.com/posts/1149568918.shtml


   The most amazingly wonderful thing about becoming a father, to me, was
   realizing that the entire "nature vs. nurture" debate was rather
   stupid.

   This seemed obvious to me when my first child, Jake, was born about
   eight and a half years ago. It was so obvious that he was a little
   person with his own quirks an tics that we could not deny it. He was a
   person, a little person, from day one. With his own little
   temperaments, and his own tendencies. Rosemary and I could not have
   possibly turned him into who he was if we'd tried. Surely we could
   shape it, meld it, channel it into positive or (if we screwed up)
   negative directions, but Jake was basically Jake the day he was born.

   Still, if there'd been any doubts, they were settled when our son
   Drake was born nearly 8 years later. Yes, surely, we were older and
   wiser and had different ideas as parents. But from the day he was
   born, he has constantly surprised us. Sure, he looks like his big
   brother, but he was a different baby from the moment he came out of
   the womb. Quieter from day one, a bit more emperious, and a bit more
   sly. Indeed, while Jake was talking well before 12 months, Drake is
   going on a year and a half now and he still hasn't said his first
   clear word. He's far more mischievous, and far less concerned with
   what other people think of him.

   Sure his dad and mom aren't the same people. But he's not the same
   baby at all. At all.

   I hope one day to have a daughter, as I think I'd make a great dad for
   a little girl. But either way, you just can't convince me anymore that
   "nurture" explains everything about what makes a child who he is.
   Something else comes in before all of that. It just does.