[antimedia] antimedia: Received this from a friend today....

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Posted by antimedia:
Received this from a friend today....
http://www.antimedia.us/posts/1155308709.shtml


   US Navy welcomes the USS Bill Clinton
   Sunday July 2nd '06 Vancover BC Headed for Seattle, WA

         The US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.

                       USS William Jefferson Clinton
                              Pictured above:

   The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home
   port of Vancouver, BC.
   The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy
   to President Bill Clinton "for his foresight in military budget cuts"
   and his conduct while president. The ship is constructed nearly
   entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a
   top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed)
   F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which although they
   cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck but form a
   very menacing presence.
   As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The
   20-person crew is completely diversified and includes members of all
   races, creeds, sex and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew
   aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts
   and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.
   An on board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of
   apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The
   number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and
   disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
   The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national
   defense - but instead in times of conflict the USS Clinton has orders
   to seek refuge in Canada. The ship may be positioned near the
   Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used
   extensively for social experimentation, and whatever other worthless
   jobs, the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.
   It is largely rumored that the ship will also be the set for the
   upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World".
   The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J Clinton when
   someone realized the USS Blowfish was already taken.